Posts Tagged ‘wisdom from others’

Reading Influencer: The Power To Change Anything has changed how I see things in some places.[1] Or, rather, has made me realize how I think about decisions on life. And there’s one that’s been really strange to have crystalize into a coherent thought. A bit ago, I mentioned some wisdom from Josh Roby about eating lunch. To take that a bit further:

I don’t need to follow my impulses. Whatever short-term regret I have for not doing so will be forgotten rather quickly.

I don’t need that third beer. I mean, sure, The Trappist has many tasty beers and I might want to try a third, but if I deny that impulse, twenty minutes later I’ll have forgotten about it. Or, to be more accurate, I won’t feel the regret.

Other things I won’t feel the regret of once the moment passes:

• Telling someone they’re wrong on the Internet. This one can be tough at times, especially when I don’t realize I just stepped into it, but in spite of the number of times people have seen me go aggro, there are quite a few times where I have been able to walk away because I thought “I’m not going to care about this argument in half on hour.”
  (Related, if you haven’t checked out E Foley’s article about Twitter, you really should: No One Is Holding Your Face In The Twitter Stream.)
• Going to conventions. Missing PAX East sucked, but I was able to get through the jealousy of watching all the awesome being tweeted because I knew that a few days later, that would fade. Did I miss opportunities? Sure. But I’m playing the Long Game, and I trust there will be future opportunities, so I don’t need to chase after every one like a guy in a club desperately trying to get laid.
• Taking on that really cool project.I get approached at times for cool projects, to be an editor or writer or whatever. Or a really awesome idea for a project happens in the shower. Or I meet someone and want to jam with them. (I like working with people on projects akin to getting people together to make a single album. I have a band mentality with many of my projects these days.) But it’s okay. I can write down some quick notes in my journal, close it, and let the moment pass. If the project is grabby enough in the months to come when my bandwidth changes, it’ll happen. Or some other project will, and that’s cool too.
• Those Magic boosters will be there next week. Seriously.
• I don’t need that third taco, or that soda. I really fucking don’t.

We’re constantly bombarded with new stimuli, so it’s not as if we’ll have the mental space to dwell on such little regrets.

- Ryan

[1] Because I was asked to clarify, Influencer has made concrete thoughts I’ve had about how we decide things, particularly the example of the guy losing weight and the people dealing with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. The idea of influencing by delaying an impulse and then seeing if the impulse continues to exist is powerful mojo.

Here’s some wisdom from Josh Roby (@joshroby) that I was reminded of today. To paraphrase, as this was told to me in person a few weeks ago:

I used to delay getting lunch. I would think about what I wanted for lunch, and hem & haw over the decision. I would wait a good couple hours after I should have eaten to eat, making those couple hours crappy and not very productive. Then I’d eat.

And I discovered that it didn’t matter what I had for lunch, because a few minutes later I went back to work and didn’t think about it.

So when my phone alarm goes off to eat lunch, I just do it, making whatever and then going back to work. Dinner’s different, because I want to enjoy that. But lunch is just functional.

This blew my mind, because he made me realize that I was the same way. Today, after a brief outing to deal with my mail, I was thinking about lunch. Just getting back from DunDraCon[1], I had little in my home. I was thinking “hmm, chicken? or chinese? or a burger? or maybe a sandwich? or a burrito…” and was delaying eating because I was pondering options.

I remembered Josh’s wisdom, and just walked to the grocery store (which I needed to do anyway) and bought what I needed for some lunches. He’s right, I don’t really care about what I just had. Back to work. And I’m thankful for his advice, because it’s increased my happiness (as I eat sooner due to not delaying) and helped my pocketbook (as I don’t go out for lunch as much because I know the gratification is very fleeting).

It’s rare that something happens that makes your life better & happier while also costing you less, so here’s my thank-you to Josh. And my passing the thought along to others, who might also see benefit.

Thanks, Josh!

- Ryan

[1] Which deserves its own post, one that’ll likely compare/contrast with OrcCon in LA, the Presidents’ Day con I typically attend.