Random Improbable Last-Minute Script Edits & Walk-Ons

I’ve got this game that’s been in my brain for years, tentatively called Gun n Fuck. It’s a two-player action movie game inspired by Crank and Shoot ‘Em Up. In it, I have a random list of items that you might have to use in a scene. The list uses d%, so it was easy to come up with 100 things.

There’s another list like it that needs 100 things: Improbably Last-Minute Script Edits & Walk-Ons. My brain stalled out around 50, and I could use your help to flesh it out!

Terminology thing: “Motherfucker” is the term for the GM and a hostile NPC. “Badass” is the term for the player and their character.

  1. Street parade
  2. Fancy car explodes
  3. Food cart drives in
  4. Gymnasists
  5. Wolves run in
  6. Semi-truck crashes
  7. Helicopter files by, shooting
  8. Cops arrive
  9. An abandoned baby cries
  10. The set bursts into flames
  11. Oil spills everywhere
  12. Two dudes moving a giant plate glass window
  13. Body falls from the sky
  14. One of Badass’s many exes walks in
  15. Motherfucker turns out to be on crazy-ass drugs
  16. Motherfucker turns out to be a famous movie star (playing themself)
  17. Scheduled building demolition
  18. Not-so-scheduled building demolition
  19. Girl scout troupe selling cookies
  20. Badass loses a weapon/is out of ammo
  21. Missionaries enter (Jehovah’s Witnesses/Mormons/etc.)
  22. Priest enters
  23. Stupid teen thugs
  24. Hard-ass biker dude rides by
  25. Undercover bust happens
  26. Drunk stumbles in
  27. Street flower vendor
  28. Bus of senior citizens
  29. Bus of Japanese tourists
  30. Funeral procession
  31. Cop on last day before retirement
  32. Journalist on the scene
  33. Ambulances
  34. Dude firing so many arrows
  35. Movie shoot (how meta!)
  36. Flash mob
  37. Unrelated gang shootout
  38. LARPers
  39. Creepy/suspicious dude enters
  40. Couple on a first date
  41. Fire hydrant/sprinklers gush
  42. Drive-by flamethrowing
  43. Bike messenger
  44. Self-styled “superhero”
  45. Parkour dudes
  46. Shit falling off of trucks
  47. Inmate transfer
  48. Streakers
  49. Freak lightning strikes
  50. Street performers
  51. Zoo animals run amok
  52. Armed nuns

What else would work for a last-minute script edit or walk-on for a Crank-ish action story? It has to be something that could happen in the middle of a scene, so list elements can’t tell you what the scene is. (That’s what makes the combinations ridiculous, because you could have zoo animals run amok during a scene on a S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier. And there’s a scene list elsewhere.)

If you give me an idea that I use, I’ll thank you in whatever final form (if any) this thing takes. Also, if you end up using this in your game for some reason, let me know! :D

(Yes, some of these currently on the list aren’t improbable. I’m not sure if the title or the items are going to change yet.)


Photo: I image-searched for “nuns with guns,” and found further evidence that I should watch Machete for this project.

G+ post with comments


17 Responses to Random Improbable Last-Minute Script Edits & Walk-Ons

  1. Emma Larkins says:

    Ooo I got this!

    – Adorable anthropomorphic robot
    – Secretive hacker typing furiously on tablet
    – Gravity reverses

    • Ryan Macklin says:

      Your first one just unlocked another idea: Motherfucker spontaneously manifests a mutant ability. After all, if an random script edit could turn a story into sci-fi lite, there’s other room to get genre-funky. Thanks! :D

  2. Randall Walker says:

    Here are some thoughts:
    – Hawk shrieks, and a motorcycle rider roars around the corner
    – Store worker or customer plows into a tall stack of canned goods
    – Random small furry animal (squirrel, raccoon) runs out and bites the shit out of someone’s leg
    – Rolling unattached tire

  3. Bry Hitchcock says:

    Rioting Mimes
    Flock of Seagulls
    Marching Band
    Badass gets a call from Mom/Dad
    Motherfucker is your mom!
    Clint Eastwood
    Sky Pirates
    Police in hot pursuit

    Cheers! Hope at least one of these strikes your fancy.

    Also, Machete rules!

  4. John says:

    Street vendor’s cart overturned
    Road constructions workers diving for cover
    Gothic architecture crumbling
    Neon signs losing key letters to spell new and often obscene words
    A dogwalker losing control of the herd they’re driving
    Rollerbladers ducking for cover
    Kids getting chased by bees
    Wet cement being walked through
    Sex workers interrupted mid-client
    Interrupted Man On The Street interview
    Alligator in sewers
    Dumpster fire
    A strange factory that only seems to produce steam, chains, or sparks
    Piles of money being blown in the air, people collecting the bills
    A sale announced at a department store, people clamoring for items
    A fire extinguisher explodes
    A car drives through a plate glass window
    A marching band is broken up
    Santa Claus

  5. Kit Yona says:

    – stroller gets away from parent, rolls into danger
    – guy complaining about coffee
    – taxi runs into telephone pole/bus stop shelter
    – homeless people wander into middle of fracas
    – manhole cover rolls by while everyone stops and watches
    – motorcycle wipes out and slides for dozens of yards
    – pack of mismatched dogs wanders through, some trailing leashes
    – Hari Krishnas handing out pamphlets
    – people screaming from fire escape/nearby apartments
    – Ice cream man truck
    – busker playing saxophone
    – low-rider with hydraulic lifts
    – Shriners in their little cars
    – three meatheads on their way to the gym

  6. Alan De Smet says:

    – Two guys with guns kick in the door. (Inspired by Chandler’s Law.)
    – Van/SUV filled with bad guys with automatic weapons
    – Open manhole
    – Unfinished elevated highway
    – Painfully obvious law enforcement stakeout
    – Armed people in black combat armor rappel/fast-rope in
    – Tornado/Hurricane
    – Earthquake
    – Bomb squad mid-defusing
    – Street race
    – Motorcade (Presidential?)
    – Funeral
    – Tanker truck full of explosives crashes

  7. Clark Valentine says:

    – The bomb squad
    – That truck from Maximum Overdrive
    – A drone hovers nearby, recording everything
    – Actors rehearsing stage combat
    – Heavily tattooed motherfuckers disguised as street preachers
    – Heavily tattooed motherfuckers _are_ street preachers
    – Bunch of bros playing flag football
    – A creepy-ass one-eyed crow staring at you
    – Badass’s phone rings at the worst possible moment
    – Table of voter registration activists

  8. Ben Rolfe says:

    After about 3 “what about… oh, you’ve already got that” moments:
    Mounted police
    Fight on top of a moving vehicle
    Broken glass goes everywhere
    Badass and motherfucker both run out of ammo
    Badass takes a hostage

  9. Theome says:

    -Bank robbers rushing out the front of a bank, wearing cheap masks from a Halloween shop

    -Kindergartners / Elementary school kids filing out of a bus on their way to a field trip destination

    -Everything spills out into a throng of fursuiters outside of a furry convention

  10. Jon Smejkal says:

    – Water tower overturns
    – Cement gloops out of a cement mixer
    – Girders fall from crane, blocking path
    – Lava!
    – Motherfucker demands a “Dance Off!”
    – Motherfucker pulls off mask (“and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling Badass!”)
    – Aliens intervene

  11. Michael D says:

    – Street preacher with loud voice
    – Teacher leads school class on a day trip
    – Drunk hen-night party
    – Backfiring car
    – Gas leak
    – A horrible smell
    – Biker gang rides through
    – News crew does on-the-scene interview
    – Trash collection
    – Noisy road works
    – Actor is injured and can be filmed from one side only
    – Radio station stunt
    – Person appears from manhole
    – Bystander has anaphalactic reaction
    – Power cut
    – Fire
    – Torrential rain
    – Tornado
    – Earthquake
    – Sinkhole appears
    – Tree falls
    – Lamppost falls
    – Mud bubbles up
    – Volcanic verts opens
    – Dormant guyser restarts
    – Screens and sound systems all play the same message
    – Civil defense siren goes off
    – Unpredictable wind gusts
    – Howling wind
    – Large sign falls from building
    – Elevator breaks down
    – Equipment goes into reverse
    – Equipment won’t stop
    – Major band sets up for a concert
    – Area is booby trapped
    – Survivalist goes insane
    – Little kid waves a loaded gun
    – People pour onto the street after a concert
    – Drive-by shooting
    – Disgruntled parent snatches child
    – Terrorist discovered on way to bombing
    – Competing hotdog stands
    – Singing telegram or strip-a-gram
    – Bag snatcher
    – Granny fights off bag snatcher
    – Partner turns up to appologize
    – Large vehicle has difficulty turning
    – Large delivery to the wrong address
    – Statue comes alive
    – Overhead cable falls
    – Plane lands in street
    – Dead birds fall to the ground
    – Rain of live fish
    – Swarm of frogs or rats
    – Hailstorm
    – Car accident
    – Light fitting explodes
    – Something falls through the ceiling
    – Strange creaking noises
    – Band start practicing next door
    – Running group take a wrong turn
    – Police crime scene recreation
    – Jumper on ledge opposite
    – Nosy window washer
    – Bus stops in middle of street to watch
    – Innocent little girl walks into the scene

  12. Kennon says:

    Man stacking crates of live chickens
    Fruit cart, primarily composed of melons
    A live grenade rolls between the Badass and their objective
    Meteorite strike
    Volcanic eruption under your feet

  13. Michael Duxbury says:

    Doves take flight.

  14. Michael Duxbury says:

    Newspaper blows into the Badass’ face and delivers plot-crucial/game-changing information.
    Television news playing in nearby bar/store/room delivers plot-crucial/game-changing information.
    Badass is caught on CCTV.
    Badass is caught on camera phones of surrounding bystanders.
    The Badass’ identical twin, clone or robot double.
    Old army buddy.
    Mentor, no longer presumed dead.
    A call from the doctor with bad news.
    The CIA.
    Bus drives past that will explode if it goes below 50 miles an hour.

  15. Michael D says:

    And a few more:
    – Psychic powers suddenly manifest
    – Cop proposes to partner
    – Bag turns out to contain cash/drugs/weapons/rocks/someone’s foot
    – Enemy pulls out overpowered gun
    – Ticking device thrown into the room
    – Another armed gang are here first
    – Overhear contract being taken out on someone
    – It’s just a cat/rat/dog/squirrel/homeless kid…
    … who pulls a gun
    – Russian mafia
    – Giant mosquitos
    – Tentacles
    – Kung-fu nuns
    – Body falls out of locker
    – Blood pours out of the air vent
    – Body blasted through door/window
    – Gas pours out of the air vent
    – The doors suddenly lock
    – College kids making out
    – Guy with chainsaw
    – They’re already dead
    – Drug fueled rave
    – People start to halucinate
    – Combat bot breaks through wall
    – Pet tiger escapes
    – The thing in the microwave starts to expand
    – Meteor strike
    – Drug side-effects kick in
    – Automated defense system appears out of the walls
    – Explosion deafens everyone
    – Containers hold higly volatile substance
    – Deadly radiation
    – Biohazard container seal breaks
    – Child/wife/partner/lover/… you thought was dead
    – $100M worth of bearer bonds
    – Diamonds
    – Egyptian curse
    – Very old man meditating
    – Hitler
    – Dracula
    – Big Bird
    – The space starts to warp
    – Unkillable
    – The dog is an alien
    – Black marks spread out from where they touch you
    – Vigilantes
    – Tagger with spray cans
    – Kid with slingshot

  16. Cheering crowd gives a hero comically stupid, yet still badass nickname