Yesterday, I put out a silly idea for a game name: Psychopaths & Phylacteries. Apparently I’m making a few notes about this game now, namely the following. And I need your help.

• When you make a character, you roll a d% to determine your class.
• When you level, you roll a d% and add that class to your current one. If you roll a class you already have, you double the bonus instead. If you end up doubling it a second time, instead your heart explodes from being too awesome.

Onto the classes. I don’t know the actual mechanics so far, but I’ve also decided that that’s not important right now.

• Cheese Princess: bonus when wielding cheese in a regal manner.
• Emo Vampire: bonus when sulking about how you’re immortal and cursed.
• Motherfucking Sorcerer: bonus to magic for 24 hours after engaging in sexual congress with someone who has given birth
• Bare Druid: bonus when not wearing leggings of any sort. Double bonus when someone is uncomfortable because of that.
• Were-Hippopotamus: bonus when charging at a foe in hippo form. Also, you’re a fucking hippo!
• Racist Arabian Stereotype: may attack two additional nearby foes when wielding two curved swords.

If you start out as a Cheese Princess and level up to become a Bare Druid, you’ll be a Cheese Princess Bare Druid. You can see where this will just get silly.

Anyway, what I need you for: come up with some silly names and ridiculous bonuses or abilities. Don’t worry about the mechanics. I might use these, I might now, and for all I know next week I’ll shelve this idea entirely. So, for the moment it seems like a silly bit of fun we can all have making up stupid shit. :)

- Ryan

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